The Top 10 Signs You’re Not in L.A. Anymore

I vacationed in the mountains of Ojai, California last week.  Here’s what I observed.

The Top 10 Signs You’re Not in L.A. Anymore

1.  You’re surrounded by green trees and mountains nearly everywhere you go.

2.  Each morning you awake to the sounds of a natural river running right outside your bedroom door.

3.  You can drink the tap water unfiltered, without fear of either disease or infection.

4.  Your neighbor apologizes for the loud noises at 1am (not party music, but the sound of two chickens being attacked by a wild animal).

5.  You go the speed limit (35mph) on a one-lane road, and NO ONE hunks their horn at you or tailgates you. (Although they do pass you by quickly once the road splits into two lanes.)

6.  People drive big trucks - not for show - but because they actually need them to haul stuff (like hay, animals, and the like).

7.  You drive to the beach and find a parking spot in the first lot that you drive into.

8.  You park your car in that lot and gasp when you discover that you don’t have to pay to park.

9.  You go for a 1 ½ hour hike and run into only two other people the entire time.

10.  As you walk back to your cabin along the side of the road, you are approached by a man in a car asking if you’d like for him to take picture for you.  You say no and he makes a u-turn, approaches you again, this time asking if you need a ride.  You say no again and start to get scared.  Is he lurking behind the next curve, waiting to grab you?  As you contemplate how you would fight him off, another man slows down to ask if you need a ride.  You say no.  You wonder if the people here are genuinely that nice, or if you’re going to end up like those chicks who show up in the polaroid pictures on the desks of police detectives in CSI episodes.  BUT, you make it back to your cabin unscathed and realize that the people here really are that nice.