I almost cried, ya’ll, when I felt my hair and detected only a couple of inches in a small afro. It’s not what I expected. It’s not what I wanted, but there it was.
I knew that it had to go—all of the hair that was so conditioned to being pressed that it didn’t respond to any of the products that my natural hair responded to. I was tired of living with a divided head, so I cut off around 80% of my hair.
But, I wasn’t just cutting off hair…
I was cutting off my connection to Eurocentric standards of beauty.
I was challenging the belief that long, straight hair is best.
I was choosing to enter the unknown of not knowing how my natural hair would look, how I would manage it, or how I would navigate auditions and a career in TV once my conservative, corporate look was gone.
After I eyed the coils that the hairstylist had twisted in my hair, half-admiringly and half-suspiciously, I felt conflicted: I knew that I had done the right thing, but a part of me felt that I had made a huge mistake. Why hadn’t the Spirit warned me? But then I realized that fear was speaking to me. I had made no mistake. I had done what I needed to do, what I wanted to do. It was just freakin’ out a little.
I knew that to get to where I want to be, which is 100% natural, proudly parading the look of an Afrocentric lioness, then I had to let go of most of my hair.
Now, I feel like a little kid with a new, instruction-less toy: giddy and clueless. I touch my hair every 15 minutes, awing at its power. It stretches. It curls easily. It’s soft, and light, and lovely to the touch. I even sweated and the sweat didn’t affect my hair’s texture at all. Hallelujah!
There’s so much I have yet to learn about it: How long will the coils stay in? What will it look like once I uncoil it? How many nights can I sleep on them before my hair looks like a bush of cotton candy? What will my hair look like in a twist out or in a braid out? So. many. questions!
Per my plan, stated a few weeks ago via IG, I will get braids in a few weeks to avoid the harshness of winter’s cold and to continue to grow my hair out, but ’til then, it’s playtime!
If you wanna follow my journey, check out my videos here on IG.